Another Year of Dissolved Resolutions

I don't know why, but I'm actually pretty apathetic to the coming year. Perhaps it's the thought that we still have 3 years left of the Bush administration. Perhaps it's because I've realized that the new year really won't affect my daily grind. The sad thing is, I'm actually more excited for the extra second of 2006, than I am for the upcoming year. Maybe it's because I'm a huge geek, but I think it's really cool that we've advanced to the point where our own ability to measure time can be more accurate than that of the Earth's natural calendar (although I suppose that's a relative judgment). I almost always get depressed around the holidays, but New Year's is one of those days that seems to hit-or-miss for me. Rarely do I exhibit the exuberance of my youth for the occasion, but there are many years where I look forward to a "fresh start."

This year I haven't even bothered to make New Year's resolutions. My penchant for focusing on my grand imaginings of the future (this year, I'll quit smoking, this year, I'll lose twenty lbs, this year, I'll publish a novel) has typically held me back from actually accomplishing anything. If anything, I have learned over the past year that changes happen incrementally, and that it takes more than perennial decrees to make them happen. Enacting change involves a lot of mundane details and labor that rarely figures into my well-intended "resolutions." Therefore, this year, I will just keep doing what I have been doing. I will continue to smoke too much, eat poorly, etc. After all, 2005 was going to be the year that I lost a bunch of weight, and I never got around to doing a sit-up.

Instead, I will use this day to look backward and acknowledge that I have made quite a bit of progress by trying to keep myself in the present. I made it through my first semester back at school. I managed to survive for 13 months on less than minimum wage and will continue to do so this year (granted, the job is rewarding in most other respects). I have managed to stay in the good graces of my wonderful fiancee, and I have learned quite a bit along the way. Anyway, gotta go watch Dick Clark's balls drop and kiss my future wife. So, Happy New Year!